Oh, Paris. You ridiculous boy-child. You have no concept of how much death you will cause, truly.
There are a couple of reasons why I have made Menelaus the way he is, but definitely one of them is to highlight just how ridiculous Paris is.
Also, poor Hector. He does not deserve any of this. Nor does he deserve the weird hair and facial hair that I gave him, but life is not fair to Hector, so neither should his hair be.