Welcome to Book 1, Part 1 of Part 1! [I had to divide things up more than I thought I would so… It’s weird. Sorry.]
I shall return on Wednesday with the next installment! It will be called: A Plague on All Your Houses! Or, something like that. I figured it out, and based on the progress I have made so far, averaging it all out, I should be done re-telling the Iliad in three years. Haha… We have a long way to go. I’m excited. *swoons*
P.S. I TOLD YOU I WOULD GET HADES IN HERE SOMEHOW, Mwahahahahahaha…
Zeus, king of the gods, husband of Hera, brother to Poseidon and Hades, lover of many, more concerned with people learning lessons than taking sides, although people consider him on the Trojan side, because Thetis.
Hera, queen of the gods, Zeus’ wife, allied with Athena, on the side of the Argives.
Athena, daughter of Zeus (popped out of his head one day), allied with Hera, on the side of the Argives, all about war and wisdom.
Poseidon, brother of Zeus and Hades, helped the Trojans build their city but they never re-paid him, therefore, on the side of the Argives. Also, Argives are big ship people and, therefore, give him proper sacrifice and attention, since he’s in charge of the sea and earthquakes and such.
Hephaestus, husband to Aphrodite, lame, god of metalsmithing, makes Achilles armour and rescues him from Scamander, so kind of on the Argives’ side?
Aphrodite, daughter of Zeus, mother of Aeneas so, therefore, on the side of the Trojans. She’s all about love and war and comes off much more a wimp than she actually is.
Apollo, son of Zeus, twin brother to Artemis, gods of music and the sun, on the side of the Trojans.
Artemis, daughter of Zeus, twin sister to Apollo, goddess of the hunt and people like slaves and outcasts, on the Trojan side, just like her brother.
Hermes, messenger of the gods, kind of hilarious, I love him. Sort of on the Argives side, but helps the Trojans as well.
Leto, daughter of Titans, mother of Apollo and Artemis, sort of on the Trojan side.
Thetis, sea-nymph, mother of Achilles, calls in a favour from Zeus to try and convince him to side with the Argives. Not sure this really did her son any good, tbh.
Hector, son of Priam, The Mightiest Warrior, husband to Andromache, father of Astyanax, actually has a brain and uses it too.
Priam, king of Troy, husband to Hecuba, father of Hector, Paris, Deiphobus, Cassandra, and gods know who else, kind, but not always useful.
Paris, son of Priam, brother to Hector (etc.), stealer of Helen, xenia-breaker (more on that later), causes All of the Problems.
Helen, ex-wife to Menelaus, lover of Paris, fairly useless as a character.
Aeneas, Trojan nobleman, son of Aphrodite, has his own epic, less whiney than Odysseus’, son of Aphrodite, supposedly founded the city of Rome… er, or begat the son who begat the son who did.
Andromache, wife of Hector, mother of Asytanax, actually has a personality, unlike Helen.
Hecuba, wife of Priam, Queen of Troy, shows up in one of the Greek plays later.
Polydamas, friend to Hector, has good advice… that no one ever listens to. [And no… I don’t know what to say in response to how his character turned out.]
Antenor, nobleman, adviser to Priam, fathered many Trojan warriors, apparently, hates Helen.
Agenor, son of Antenor, warrior, attempts to fight Achilles, kind of important.
Glaucus, Lycian, ally to the Trojans, his dad knew Diomede’s dad, a bit dense.
Dolon, spies on Greek ships, not very important.
Pandarus, archer, Ruins Things.
Deiphobus, son of Priam and Hecuba, brother to Cassandra, also gift of prophecy
Cassandra, daughter of Priam, sister to Deiphobus, blessed with prophecy via Apollo
Polydorus, youngest son of Priam, brother to Hector, runs fast – but not fast enough.
Euphorbus, a fine Trojan warrior. Only moderately important.
Only Slightly Deranged 