Meanwhile In Sparta…

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Did you know Helen and Menelaos had a daughter? Not everyone does. Her name was Hermione, and while every one else was off in Troy she was left behind and forgotten. Like. Helen? Menelaos? You definitely lose the parent of the year award. Odysseos faked MADNESS in order to try and stay and raise his son. Helen and Menelaos are so wrapped up in their nonsense it’s like Hermione Doesn’t Even Exist.

Supposedly she was engaged to Orestes. Orestes was the son of angry-faced Agamemnon and take-control Klytemnestra. BUT after the war she was married off to Achilles’ son Neoptolemos. This didn’t last, however, because Neoptolemos was an idiot (more on that some other day). Once Neoptolemos was dead Hermione was then free to marry Orestes. Or. Well. At least according to some versions of the story.

BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THAT. What I want to know is what was she doing BEFORE she was married off to Neoptolemos The Idiot? She was alone in Sparta ABANDONED and being raised by some nursemaid APPARENTLY, unless her grandmother Leda was still alive. WHAT I LIKE TO THINK is that she grieved and was angry and ultimately: got over it and moved on with her life. I want more of this woman and we do not get enough of her AT ALL. One day I will probably write a short story for her, because come on. She survived being surrounded by idiots. She reminds me a lot of Gorgo, who is this Spartan princess Herodotos tells us about who, also, was surrounded by idiots. I like to think they are related and that Hermione would be proud of her.


Want more bad-ass Greek Ladies?

Click HERE for Penelope.

Click HERE for Klytemnestra.

Come back next week for Aegiale.

Meanwhile In Mykenae…

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Klytemnestra is the wife of angry-face Agamemnon who, right before he left for Troy, killed their daughter Iphegenia. She, understandably, did not forgive him for this. The story goes that she took as lover Aegisthos, who was Agamemnon’s cousin (I think? Their family tree is super messed up, considering Aegisthos was the son of Thyestes and Thyestes own daughter Pelopia, It gets really complicated really fast).

ANYWAY. When Agamemnon came home (with a lady in tow, I might add) she welcomed him AND THEN MURDERED HIM, with the help of her lover-lad. This is, of course, just another way we see Greek men’s fear of women’s sexuality exposed. HOW DARE SHE take a lover. LOOK HOW DANGEROUS is it when women make these decisions. DEATH and MURDER and MORE DEATH.  *ahem* Not that I’m biased. At all.

I love Klytemnestra (at least the one portrayed by Aeschylos) because she is such a good villain. You understand she is motivated by grief at the death of her daughter and outrage at her husband’s infidelity. She took her life, her love life, and her desire for vengeance in her own hands, asked for no apologies, and regretted nothing.


Want more bad-ass ladies? Last week was all about Penelope and next week is about Hermione. See you then!

Meanwhile In Ithaka…

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While Odysseos was off traveling and fighting (and getting lost, pff, men) Penelope had to stay at home, raise a child, take care of a city, fend of suitors, take care of civic and religious responsibilities, all without offending anyone and maintaining relationships with any allies she could gather. She is known for her loyalty and, most importantly for Greek men, for not jumping into bed with a man who was not Odysseos. Greek men were really terrified of women’s sexuality and did everything they could to control it. *major eye roll* ANYWAY. What I, personally, love about Penelope is how bad-ass she is. She is able to juggle a lot of responsibilities and has to be majorly smart to outwit all of the idiots that surround her. I also love her loyalty, but really, I love how smart she is.


I don’t, alas, have time to do full Iliad posts – yet. BUT, I  miss this and I want to be able to post SOMETHING for you all, so I have a couple of “Meanwhile In…” posts for you. Because the Iliad is super MANLY MEN I thought it would be fun to think about what is happening at home with the lady-folk who got left behind.

Next week we’ll check in with Klytemnestra!

Retail Life: Silo and Peasants Vol. 2, “No, Honey, You’re Sick.”

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I don’t know why people find it necessary to tell me what I am or am not. How would you know? You aren’t me. Back off, lady.

Although, to be fair, when I haven’t completely woken up my voice does sound like I just swallowed a toad, so I did sound unwell, and I’m glad she cared about my health, but why she couldn’t believe me when I said I was fine I just will never understand.

Want more Retail Life comics? Click HERE.

Want me to turn your own Retail Life experience into a comic? Send me a suggestion HERE (understanding that I am under no obligation to do so and that I try to make my site fairly kid-friendly in case one of my ex-students wander over here BUT I love hearing people’s ridiculous retail stories, so you never know… Just let me know what alias you want to go by, because that’s more fun than a real name).

Retail Life: New Burgundy Vol. 2, “I Didn’t Touch Anything.”

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This story I stole from one of the young ladies that I work with at New Burgundy. Customer’s are just so odd.

Also, remember, any resemblance to people living or dead is completely by chance and also improbable, because I am terrible at drawing people from life. I can’t even take good pictures of people.

Want more Retail Life comics? Click HERE.

Want me to turn your own Retail Life experience into a comic? Send me a suggestion HERE (understanding that I am under no obligation to do so and that I try to make my site fairly kid-friendly in case my ex-students wander over here BUT I love hearing people’s ridiculous retail stories, so you never know… Just let me know what alias you want to go by, because that’s more fun than a real name).

The Hurrian Tasmisu and The Hellenic Hermes: Brothers of Another… Er… Parent?

In the book Hittite Myths as translated by Harry A. Hoffner, Jr. (second edition) there is a section on Hurrian Myths. In tablet one of “The Song of Ullikummi” it says:

“When Kumarbi [had formed] a clever plan [in his mind], he promptly arose from his chair. In his hand he took a staff; [on his feet] like winged [shoes] he put the winds” (4.Ai 11-15).

And later in tablet 3:

“When Tasmisu heard Tessub’s words, he quickly arose, [took] a staff in hand, put the winds on his feet – like winged shoes, and went up on the hightowers” (48.Aii 1-2).

Kumarbi is trying to dethrone Tessub (sometimes translated as Teshub), who is currently king of the gods. Tasmisu is Tessub’s vizier (he and Tessub are both “sons,” of a sort, of Kumarbi). Actually, the Anu, Kumarbi, Tessub storyline has a lot of parallels to the Kronos, Ouranos, Zeus story… Ahem. Anyway. That would be for a different day. We’re going to set aside Kumarbi for right now and look at the vizier, Tasmisu.

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Kumarbi is on the left, Tessub on the right

Tasmisu is acting as a messenger. He grabs his staff and puts the wind on his feet, or, basically, his winged shoes. Who else has a staff and winged shoes? Specifically, in the Hellenic world? But of course! Hermes! Tasmisu also, later on in the story, leads Tessub to visit Allani, “the lady” who ruled the underworld (known as Lelwani to the Hittites, and possibly connected to the Sumerian Ereshkigal ). Hermes is also a cthonic deity who is able to go freely from the underworld and back and acts as a psychopomp, leading people safely to the underworld.

It makes me wonder if all of these stories of gods putting winged shoes on their feet and wandering around to the underworld eventually morphed into the Hellenic Hermes? There seems to be some sort of kinship there.

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Tasmisu on the left, Hermes on the right


(to see the inspiration for Teshub click HERE.) There is also more information about Hittite/Hurrian mythology. Just remember that mythology is not always kid friendly, as it were.

To read The Story of Laodike Click HERE.

The Story of Laodike (According to Some Poets)

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Ah, my silly little Greek and Roman poets. They amuse me.

Quintus of Smyrna is known for trying to bridge the gap between Homer and Virgil, but most people agree that he’s not as good and someone did say that he was the “worst  poet of antiquity” (Ernst Günther Schmidt 1999, 141). I actually really enjoy him. I mean, he is derivative of Homer, but since that was his goal I feel like that’s okay? I don’t know. I would be willing to comic it up one day.

ANYWAY. So the other day there was that comic about Hector Within the City Walls and Laodike shows up in the background and Hector goes on this rant about how he wishes Paris would be swallowed up by the earth. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Laodike herself is later swallowed up by the very earth. I think that’s why she’s here in this scene.

Also, Acamas, her husband (according to some), was a guest-friend of Odysseus and Menelaus (again, according to some). There’s just so many connections! I think that’s one thing that’s fun about Homer, because he just references these people off-handedly, but there’s so much story there underneath.

Also, I find it so interesting that Theseus’ grandmother is chilling as Helen’s slave-woman. Why is she even there? Why is Acamas, the son of Theseus, there? Could this have any connection to the rumours that Helen of Troy was married to Theseus for some time?

ANYWAYS. Here is your random post. I am so excited I could get it done for you *waves pompoms* I hope you enjoyed it! Have a wonderful day, lovelies! *bows*


To Read Hector Says Nothing Click HERE.