Book 1, Part 4.2: Odysseus Doesn’t Get Lost

To Start From the Beginning Click HERE.
To Read Previous Post Click HERE.


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Yes, I am making fun of Odysseus… HOWEVER, I will say that I like Odysseus more in The Iliad than in The Odyssey.

Also, poor Patroclus. Gotta’ give that dude props. He is a good friend and puts up with a whole lot of Achilles’ nonsense.

Join us next week for the last of book one *GASP!* Yes, we will finish book one next Wednesday *faints from shock*. I am not sure of a title yes, but it will be something like: Hera Never Pries or something like that. There will also be more of Thetis, mwahaha.


To Read the Story of Thetis & Peleus Click HERE.

Book 1, Part 4.1: Achilles Cries to His Momma

To Start from the Beginning Click HERE.
To Read the Previous Post Click HERE.


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  1. Briareus is kind of disturbing, which just goes to show I should probably NOT come up with character designs late at night.
  2. Thetis is much sassier than I had originally thought she would be, which pleases me greatly.
  3. Achilles didn’t necessarily blackmail his mother, but I wouldn’t put it past him, especially with Thetis’ sketchy relationship with Peleus (there will be more details about this in the future).
  4. I only now realized that half the time I use Latin spellings and half the time use Greek spellings for the names of people and places… which is inconsistent of me and I apologize. If I ever put this together as a book I’ll have to go through and fix that. Ah well. When you do research you’ll see it’s pretty inconsistent out in the world too.

Next time we will learn what is going on with Odysseus…

Book 1, Part 3.2: A Problem With Obedience

To Start From the Beginning Click HERE.
To Read the Previous Post Click HERE.


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One: I don’t know what happened to Briseis’ eyes – but her life is terrible.

Two: I doubt Patroclus actually gave Briseis a knife, but I have my reasons for putting this in.

Three: Talthybius and Eurybates were not on the character list (they aren’t very important and only show up like two more times). Talthybius shows up in Euripides play Hekuba and Eurybates is Obdysseus’ squire and is, apparently, described as “dark-skinned and curly-haired.” I originally drew Talthybius as the shorter one and Eurybates as the taller one, but after reading that I switched them around. [ALSO: if I ever turn Hekuba into a comic YES he will show up there… There is a mid-to fair chance this will happen one day before I die.]

Today’s post is shorter, but Sunday will probably end up being long *sigh*

WHICH by the way, will be called something like Achilles Cries to His Momma, so be excited for the appearance of Thetis.


To Read the Next Installment Click HERE.

Book 1, Part 3.1: Nestor Advises to No Avail

To Start From the Beginning Click HERE
To Read the Previous Post Click HERE


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No one ever listens to the smart people in epics. NO ONE. (It’s just as bad in Song of Roland, if memory serves correctly.)

Also, poor Phoenix is having an identity crisis.

NOTE: You probably are wondering who the Myrmidons are. Or. Maybe you aren’t. BUT IF YOU ARE: The Myrmidons were a group of warriors from Thessaly, in Greece. According to legend Zeus took a colony of ants and zapped them into a group of warrior-men (myrmex is the Greek word for ant). I’m not really sure why Zeus did this, but I’m sure it amused him.

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Return on Wednesday for Book 1, Part 3.2: Problems of Obedience.


To Read the Next Installment Click HERE.

A Note on Source Material

Before we get too much farther into this re-telling of The Iliad I would like to take a moment to talk about Sources. There are many, many, many translations of The Iliad. My understanding of ancient Greek languages is pretty basic, so I am not reading the original text. One day I will be able to do that – – but not this day. This means I have to trust a translator to help me along.

The translation I own, and which I am heavily inspired by, is Stanley Lombardo’s version. I love it. I think he does a great job of keeping a sense of humour throughout the work and it just begs to be read out loud.

I have also read most of Robert Fagles’ version, and occasionally I reference my copy from The Great Works collection (the version translated by Samuel Butler, which is not my favourite because I prefer the poetic translations, but it has its uses). If you are looking for an online version to read all you have to do is internet search it. Most likely you will find Samuel Butler’s version, but there are others.

While I do not know what translation could be considered “the best,” I will say that I enjoy the Lombardo translation, and if you do not own The Iliad yet and want to purchase a version, I highly recommend his.

Anyway! Now you know what my source material is. See you on Sunday for the next installment *mwahahahahaha*

Book 1, Part 2.2: Enter Athena

To Start from the Beginning Click Here
To Read the Previous Comic (to Find Out Why Achilles is Mad at Agamemnon) Click Here


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Achilles has some great insults I’ll have to keep in mind for the future…

Also, there was something else, but I don’t remember. *ponders* Oh! If you want to see what real Hellenistic bronze age helmets look like, instead of whatever it is I put on Athena’s head, see this page here or this page here.

Next Sunday will be Book 1 Part 3.1… which will probably be named the Insults of Achilles or something. I’m not sure yet, as I’m still writing the script for it. In the meantime, have a lovely day!


To Read the Next Installment Click HERE.

Book 1, Part 2.1: The Sass of Achilles

Start at the beginning
Previous Comic


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Next Week: Book 1, Part 2.2…


It should be noted that Odysseus did NOT vote for Diomedes, he voted for himself, Indeed ALL of the Argives voted themself the Most Formidable Hero, except for Patroclus who voted for Achilles, thus winning him the vote.

ALSO: if you want to read a similar story where a king yells at a prophet see 1 Kings 22. One day I will probably stick-figure it, because it’s one of my favourite Bible stories.

ALSO: Do not be surprised if the next time Calchas shows up he’s drinking a Pumpkin Spice Latte.


To Read the Next Installment Click HERE.

Book 1, Part 1.1: Prologue

Welcome to Book 1, Part 1 of Part 1! [I had to divide things up more than I thought I would so… It’s weird. Sorry.]


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I shall return on Wednesday with the next installment! It will be called: A Plague on All Your Houses! Or, something like that. I figured it out, and based on the progress I have made so far, averaging it all out, I should be done re-telling the Iliad in three years. Haha… We have a long way to go. I’m excited. *swoons*


P.S. I TOLD YOU I WOULD GET HADES IN HERE SOMEHOW, Mwahahahahahaha…


To Read the Next Installment Click HERE.

Potentials for Miscommunication & Problems of Author Bias

Last time we talked about Homer and whether or not he really existed. HOWEVER, whether or he was real or merely a legend, we are left with the same problem when viewing the text. In fact, everything in this post will be applicable for pretty much any of the Greek or Roman texts that I will reference in the future, so this post is not only relevant for The Iliad, but for other ancient texts as well.

These texts have a very different bias than we do (or, at least, it most likely does, unless you are a rare and mysterious individual) and therefore there are some major Potentials For Miscommunication. Some of these PFM’s are listed below:

  1. Time. These epics were created and written down many, many years before I was born, and therefore, many, many year before you were born (unless you are a time-traveling doctor or a girl named Julianna, who is secretly thousands of years old). The way people lived back then was very different from how we live now (especially to us living in the modern Western world). Even how we view the concept of time may be different. Consider, for example, the Mesoamericans and their quadripartite concept of time — very few people will even know what that means, but for a pre-conquest Mesoamerican it was just a part of life. So too might the Greeks or Romans view time conceptually different than however you do.
  2. Place. None of us are living in Ancient Greece or on the Ionian Coast. Most of you are not even living in Greece or Turkey. (If you are: while this PFM is not as terrible for you, the landscape has still changed quite a bit since the Stone/Bronze/Iron Age.) The Mediterranean world is different geographically from, say, the Hudson or Wyoming Valleys. Therefore, the land you are looking at and living in is not the same land Agamemnon would have looked at or lived in. [A person’s Sense of Place and the Significance of Place is something I will probably go into more detail later.]
  3. Language. These were written in an old form of Greek (or Latin) that no one actively speaks anymore. You will most likely be reading a translated text. Every time you translate something, you re-make it. Every translator is going to bring their own views and vocabulary to the text. It’s impossible not to. So even if you are reading the original text it is still a translation, because YOU are translating it. You are not an ancient Greek, and therefore no matter what you do you will have to translate this text and in the translating of it, re-make it.
  4. Poetic Language. Not only is The Iliad written in old time Greek , but the text uses poetic devices all over the place. It uses a whole lot of symbolism, metaphor, epic simile, and more. It talks about pastoral images a lot (like leaves and fields and leopards), which seems really weird when you read it the first time. The poem has a specific rhythm and meter and all that (which I will NOT explain because poetic forms is not my forte). It repeats a lot of phrases, because this is what poets used to help them remember what came next in the poem. That’s why Athena is often spoken of as “grey-eyed” and the sea is “wine-dark.” These phrases not only fit the meter of the poem, BUT also helped the poet remember where he was in the poem when he was dramatically reciting to the masses.
  5. Repetition. Because Homer’s poems were recited out loud to crowds there is a WHOLE lot of repetition, just in case someone wanders around the campfire/into the crowd and doesn’t know what happened yet; or in case someone dozed off; or in case some poor child was fighting desperately to focus but, really?, couldn’t. Also, #becausepoetry. (That is the only explanation you’re going to get out of me, because I am that bad at poetic vocabulary/definitions.)
  6. Values, Ethics, and Moral Ideals. Some of the ancient Greek/Roman values and ethics will overlap with our modern ones; some of them definitely won’t. Don’t be quick to judge, but try to think of the world through their eyes. They don’t have phones or fancy magic devices, they barely have swords. They don’t have burger fast food places, they have fields of barley and a whole lot of drought. No cars, but difficult seas that sometimes stranded you for three months because of the currents and the weather. Their world is going to be different than ours, so their values are going to reflect that. Also, they live in a different time period, in a different land, with a different religious outlook (unless you are a Hellenic Reconstructionist of some sort, in which case, the differences religiously won’t be as bad). Even if they didn’t live in such a different time/place, remember: your values, ethics, and moral ideals could be different from your next-door neighbors values, ethics, and moral ideals, so it’s important to be able to understand and be aware of this PFM in particular, because it is something that will show up in your day to day life.

Some other points to remember when considering authorship, particularly with ancient Greek or Roman works, is that the person who created/wrote it was:

  1. Male. (Unless possibly Sappho). It is sad, but true. Until you get to Anna of Byzantium, outside of some poetry, it’s all males all the time, and that bias shows, sometimes like #WHAT.
  2. Educated. You don’t write things down if you aren’t educated. Mostly because you can’t write things down if you don’t know how words or alphabets work. #thisshouldbeobvious
  3. Probably middle/upper class. You don’t get educated if you don’t have monies.
  4. Sexist. Women are poetic devices at best. Some authors are less sexist than others, but yeah. The Greek and Roman world is INCREDIBLY male-centric/phallo-centric, whatever fancy term you want to use to describe it. Sometimes this is painful. I try to be fair, because that is the world they grew up in, but sometimes my own bias will come out in a roar, so be prepared for that.
  5. Polytheist. Whether hardcore, fairly agnostic, meh, or more atheistic, the polytheist view is going to color EVERYTHING in the Greek/Roman world. If you are used to a monotheistic viewpoint, I promise you, some things in these texts just won’t jive and will leave you flummoxed. Do your best.
  6. Ethnicity/Race. Greeks are VERY pro-Greek everyone else is stupid/barbaric/uncivilized/a cannibal. Romans are VERY pro-Roman everyone else is stupid/barbaric/uncivilized/not as good as us. The Greek worldview is very anti-anyone else (part of their hatred of Thrace). The Romans are very We Are The Most Awesome HAHAHAHA, which is why they downplay the importance of Etruria like #WHAT. So whenever a Greek/Roman author is talking about someone/a group that isn’t part of their group, BE AWARE, a bias is happening.

There are other lenses that authors look through that create their bias, of course. These are just some basic things to keep in mind. A future post delving into ancient Greek ethics/values may happen one day, and at that time will be linked to HERE. But not this day.


ALSO: Obviously, I am an author so I have a bias. All of these categories also relate to what I’m writing. While I do try my best to be accurate and fair, sometimes I, like Herodotus, exaggerate/gossip/re-invent because it makes a story, quite simply, better. Keep this in mind and forgive me my re-interpretations of text, as I forgive those who re-interpreted before me.