Book 1, Part 4.1: Achilles Cries to His Momma

To Start from the Beginning Click HERE.
To Read the Previous Post Click HERE.


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  1. Briareus is kind of disturbing, which just goes to show I should probably NOT come up with character designs late at night.
  2. Thetis is much sassier than I had originally thought she would be, which pleases me greatly.
  3. Achilles didn’t necessarily blackmail his mother, but I wouldn’t put it past him, especially with Thetis’ sketchy relationship with Peleus (there will be more details about this in the future).
  4. I only now realized that half the time I use Latin spellings and half the time use Greek spellings for the names of people and places… which is inconsistent of me and I apologize. If I ever put this together as a book I’ll have to go through and fix that. Ah well. When you do research you’ll see it’s pretty inconsistent out in the world too.

Next time we will learn what is going on with Odysseus…


To Read Odysseus Doesn’t Get Lost Click HERE.

Book 1, Part 3.2: A Problem With Obedience

To Start From the Beginning Click HERE.
To Read the Previous Post Click HERE.


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One: I don’t know what happened to Briseis’ eyes – but her life is terrible.

Two: I doubt Patroclus actually gave Briseis a knife, but I have my reasons for putting this in.

Three: Talthybius and Eurybates were not on the character list (they aren’t very important and only show up like two more times). Talthybius shows up in Euripides play Hekuba and Eurybates is Obdysseus’ squire and is, apparently, described as “dark-skinned and curly-haired.” I originally drew Talthybius as the shorter one and Eurybates as the taller one, but after reading that I switched them around. [ALSO: if I ever turn Hekuba into a comic YES he will show up there… There is a mid-to fair chance this will happen one day before I die.]

Today’s post is shorter, but Sunday will probably end up being long *sigh*

WHICH by the way, will be called something like Achilles Cries to His Momma, so be excited for the appearance of Thetis.


To Read Achilles Cries to His Momma Click HERE.

Book 1, Part 3.1: Nestor Advises to No Avail

To Start From the Beginning Click HERE
To Read the Previous Post Click HERE


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No one ever listens to the smart people in epics. NO ONE. (It’s just as bad in Song of Roland, if memory serves correctly.)

Also, poor Phoenix is having an identity crisis.

NOTE: You probably are wondering who the Myrmidons are. Or. Maybe you aren’t. BUT IF YOU ARE: The Myrmidons were a group of warriors from Thessaly, in Greece. According to legend Zeus took a colony of ants and zapped them into a group of warrior-men (myrmex is the Greek word for ant). I’m not really sure why Zeus did this, but I’m sure it amused him.

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Return on Wednesday for Book 1, Part 3.2: Problems of Obedience.


To Read A Problem with Obedience Click HERE.

Book 1, Part 2.2: Enter Athena

To Start from the Beginning Click Here
To Read the Previous Comic (to Find Out Why Achilles is Mad at Agamemnon) Click Here


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Achilles has some great insults I’ll have to keep in mind for the future…

Also, there was something else, but I don’t remember. *ponders* Oh! If you want to see what real Hellenistic bronze age helmets look like, instead of whatever it is I put on Athena’s head, see this page here or this page here.

Next Sunday will be Book 1 Part 3.1… which will probably be named the Insults of Achilles or something. I’m not sure yet, as I’m still writing the script for it. In the meantime, have a lovely day!


To Read A Note on Source Material Click HERE.
To Skip That and Read Nestor Advises to No Avail Click HERE.

Book 1, Part 2.1: The Sass of Achilles

Start at the beginning
Previous Comic


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Next Week: Book 1, Part 2.2…


It should be noted that Odysseus did NOT vote for Diomedes, he voted for himself, Indeed ALL of the Argives voted themself the Most Formidable Hero, except for Patroclus who voted for Achilles, thus winning him the vote.

ALSO: if you want to read a similar story where a king yells at a prophet see 1 Kings 22. One day I will probably stick-figure it, because it’s one of my favourite Bible stories.

ALSO: Do not be surprised if the next time Calchas shows up he’s drinking a Pumpkin Spice Latte.


To Read Enter Athena Click HERE.

Book 1, Part 1.1: Prologue

Welcome to Book 1, Part 1 of Part 1! [I had to divide things up more than I thought I would so… It’s weird. Sorry.]


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I shall return on Wednesday with the next installment! It will be called: A Plague on All Your Houses! Or, something like that. I figured it out, and based on the progress I have made so far, averaging it all out, I should be done re-telling the Iliad in three years. Haha… We have a long way to go. I’m excited. *swoons*


P.S. I TOLD YOU I WOULD GET HADES IN HERE SOMEHOW, Mwahahahahahaha…


To Read A Plague Be Upon You Click HERE.

Who You Need to Know Part IV: The Rest

*In case you missed it:
The Argives
The Trojans
The Immortals*


These are the characters that do not belong to either side and, for the most part, are adversely affected by the Trojan War.

HUMAN

IANR.Oth.Chryses

Chryses, a priest of Apollo whose daughter is stolen away, but Apollo has his back. According to some dude named Eustathius he was the brother of Briseus. He also knew Orestes, but that’s not important for The Iliad.

IANR.Oth.Chryseis

Chryseis, island babe, daughter of Chryses, also know as Astynome. Stolen by Agamemnon, but given back to her father and disappears from the story pretty quickly. She is bitter about this, however, she shows up in Medieval literature later, under the name Cressida, so she shouldn’t be that upset.

IANR.Oth.Briseis

Briseis, also know as Hippodameia, a war prize for Achilles, princess of Lyrnessus, stolen by Agamemnon. Her father was Briseus, brother of Chryses; her husband was Mynes (was being the operative word); and she used to have three brothers. Her life is crap.

MORE THAN HUMAN

IANR.Oth.Scamander

Scamander, the anthropomorphic personification of the river Scamander, also known as Skamandros Xanthos (but only the gods called him Xanthos, so it would be disrespectful for us to use that term). He finds Achilles to be more insufferable than I do. I may love him more than Diomedes, but don’t tell Diomedes I said that.

IANR.Oth.Iris

Iris, the messenger of Zeus, anthropomorphic personification of rainbows, not really on anyone’s side, has similar functions to Hermes.

THE LAST IMMORTAL

IANR.Oth.Hades

Hades, Lord of the Underworld. He’s not actually in The Iliad, HOWEVER, I am putting him in The Iliad anyway, because I love him, and he’s fabulous.


And there you have it, the final characters. Some other people may show up, like Sarpedon, Ganymede, Thaos — but don’t worry about them. I’ll explain who they are as they appear.

In the next couple of posts I will give you some background information on the author, Homer, and the text. Because they are shorter I’ll be posting the series of Informational Posts on Monday/Wednesday/and Friday of this coming week (which hopefully I will not regret, because More Work). There will be fewer pictures, but it will make everything make so much more sense later. I will do my best to make it as insufferable as possible… er… un-sufferable? I will hope to make you not suffer very muchly. Something like that. Okaybye!

To Find Out Where the Mediterranean Are We Click HERE.

Who You Need to Know Part III: The Immortals

*If you missed it:
Who You Need to Know Part I: Argives
Who You Need to Know Part II: Trojans*


…also known as Gods and Goddesses and a Random Sea-Nymph. If you don’t know anything about Greek mythology/traditional religion that sucks. I’m only going to give you the basics. Also, where have you been? *shakes head in disapproval*


IANR.Im.ZeusZeus, king of the gods, husband of Hera, brother to Poseidon and Hades, lover of many, more concerned with people learning lessons than taking sides, although people consider him on the Trojan side, because Thetis.

IANR.Im.HeraHera, queen of the gods, Zeus’ wife, allied with Athena, on the side of the Argives.

IANR.Im.AthenaAthena, daughter of Zeus (popped out of his head one day), allied with Hera, on the side of the Argives, all about war and wisdom.

IANR.Im.PseidonPoseidon, brother of Zeus and Hades, helped the Trojans build their city but they never re-paid him, therefore, on the side of the Argives. Also, Argives are big ship people and, therefore, give him proper sacrifice and attention, since he’s in charge of the sea and earthquakes and such.

IANR.Im.HephaestusHephaestus, husband to Aphrodite, lame, god of metalsmithing, makes Achilles armour and rescues him from Scamander, so kind of on the Argives’ side?

IANR.Im.AphroditeAphrodite, daughter of Zeus, mother of Aeneas so, therefore, on the side of the Trojans. She’s all about love and war and comes off much more a wimp than she actually is.

IANR.Im.ApolloApollo, son of Zeus, twin brother to Artemis, gods of music and the sun, on the side of the Trojans.

IANR.Im.ArtemisArtemis, daughter of Zeus, twin sister to Apollo, goddess of the hunt and people like slaves and outcasts, on the Trojan side, just like her brother.

Ares, god of war, just war, no brains, lover of Aphrodite, supports Trojans mainly, but really as long as people are fighting he’s happy.

IANR.Im.HermesHermes, messenger of the gods, kind of hilarious, I love him. Sort of on the Argives side, but helps the Trojans as well.

IANR.Im.LetoLeto, daughter of Titans, mother of Apollo and Artemis, sort of on the Trojan side.

IANR.Im.ThetisThetis, sea-nymph, mother of Achilles, calls in a favour from Zeus to try and convince him to side with the Argives. Not sure this really did her son any good, tbh.


There are your Immortals! Next time we will finish everything up with our handful of characters who aren’t on one side or the other of the war.

To Meet The Rest Click HERE.

Who You Need to Know Part II: Trojans

*If You missed Part I: The Argives, click HERE.*


The Trojans are descended from Greeks, probably, but don’t tell them that. More on their geography later. For now! The main and supporting cast.

Main Characters

IANR.Tr.HectorHector, son of Priam, The Mightiest Warrior, husband to Andromache, father of Astyanax, actually has a brain and uses it too.

IANR.Tr.PriamPriam, king of Troy, husband to Hecuba, father of Hector, Paris, Deiphobus, Cassandra, and gods know who else, kind, but not always useful.

IANR.Tr.ParisParis, son of Priam, brother to Hector (etc.), stealer of Helen, xenia-breaker (more on that later), causes All of the Problems.

IANR.Tr.HelenHelen, ex-wife to Menelaus, lover of Paris, fairly useless as a character.

IANR.Tr.AeneasAeneas, Trojan nobleman, son of Aphrodite, has his own epic, less whiney than Odysseus’, son of Aphrodite, supposedly founded the city of Rome… er, or begat the son who begat the son who did.

IANR.Tr.AndromacheAstyanaxAndromache, wife of Hector, mother of Asytanax, actually has a personality, unlike Helen.

Astyanax, son of Hector and Andromache, not very important, but tiny and adorable.

IANR.Tr.HecubaHecuba, wife of Priam, Queen of Troy, shows up in one of the Greek plays later.

IANR.Tr.PolydamasPolydamas, friend to Hector, has good advice… that no one ever listens to. [And no… I don’t know what to say in response to how his character turned out.]

Supporting Cast

IANR.Tr.AntenorAntenor, nobleman, adviser to Priam, fathered many Trojan warriors, apparently, hates Helen.

IANR.Tr.AgenorAgenor, son of Antenor, warrior, attempts to fight Achilles, kind of important.

IANR.Tr.GlaucusGlaucus, Lycian, ally to the Trojans, his dad knew Diomede’s dad, a bit dense.

IANR.Tr.DolonDolon, spies on Greek ships, not very important.

IANR.Tr.PandarusPandarus, archer, Ruins Things.

IANR.Tr.DeiphobusDeiphobus, son of Priam and Hecuba, brother to Cassandra, also gift of prophecy

IANR.Tr.CassandraCassandra, daughter of Priam, sister to Deiphobus, blessed with prophecy via Apollo

IANR.Tr.PolydorusPolydorus, youngest son of Priam, brother to Hector, runs fast – but not fast enough.

IANR.Tr.EuphorbusEuphorbus, a fine Trojan warrior. Only moderately important.


There you have it! Your beautiful Trojans. Next time we will meet our Immortals.

To Meet the Immortals Click HERE.